A day in the life of Donald Trump's America

A day in the life of Donald Trump's America.


Date: July 27th, 2015 11:35 AM
Author: U.S v. Seven RCP-90s and a Golden Gun

6:00 AM: Your teenage son is getting in from his paper route he works 3 times a week. Given the lack of illegal labor, the demand for these jobs is filled by young people looking for some extra cash. Plus the bike route works his legs, which helped him earn that football scholarship to Auburn next fall to bang hot SEC chicks.

6:15 AM: You awake to a fresh cup of coffee, k-cups from your local CostCo average at about 8 cents a cup since Coffee producers are striving for the best deal with importers, lest they face the wrath of a 50% protective tariff.

6:45 AM: You get ready to write a check for your daughter's student loan payment, but it's not needed. The competitive labor force has forced equal pay for men and women and rather than having to room with an Elliot to make rent, she controls her own financial future and makes reasonable payments for her loans. She dates a nice Midwestern boy. You've already talked to him about what your daughter likes and he tells you, "Sir, I just want to make your daughter happy."

7:30 AM: Your wife sends you off to work after a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Recently you've been able to go to a single income, so she can maintain the house and kids. She also has time to workout during the day, she's dropped 15 pounds. You're actually late, but damn, the sex has never been better and she has never looked finer.

9:00 AM: You enjoy morning coffee with John, Tom, and Bill. Your portfolio filled with defense stocks rallied overnight amid news that the good boys at Blackwater have seized another oil field from ISIS. Trump intends to pump it out of the ground and ship it to the USA.

12:30 PM: Power lunch with the boss. You're served by a nice young college lady, again these jobs are no longer filled by illegal labor. You tip generously and enjoy the fresh grass-fed American beef that has become much cheaper as a result of Trump's economic policies. Ribeye pairs nicely with the inexpensive, but premium, California wine.

5:30 PM: You're home where your wife has prepared cornish game hens for dinner. Your son asks if he can get you a beer but he's going out tonight. Only so many times he gets to bang the head cheerleader before he heads off to Auburn. Thomas Smith, your landscaper, left a note appreciating your tip last week.

8:00 PM: You watch the news. China is in revolt and Iran, now a peaceful democracy thanks to a CIA funded revolution thought of by Trump, announces the death of 3 more leaders of ISIS. Young Iranians fly American flags in the streets and the new alliance, while fledgling, looks promising. POTUS Trump is in Russia where he has made an ally of Putin in their quest against Islamism. Syria quakes.

11:00 PM: Before retiring, your wife lets you finally try that thing you've always wanted to do since you just pulled in a big bonus. You sleep soundly and write your check for Trump's re-election campaign. To be picked up by your postman, Robert, the next day.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2946948&forum_id=2#28420634)