Rachmiel's Final Judgement is Upon Us


Date: April 1st, 2015 1:30 PM
Author: chilmata (xo 2015 Sophomore of the Year)

31 When the Founder of Autoadmit returns in his glory, and all the poasters with him, then he will poast on his glorious bort. 32 Before him will be gathered all the poasters, and he will separate sumos from pumos as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 And he will place the sumos on his right, but the pumos on the left. 34 Then the Founder of Autoadmit will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my moniker, inherit the bort prepared for you from the foundation of the internet. 35 For I was bored and you gave me niggerthreading, I was suicidal and you gave me funny memes, I was a stranger and you blank bumped me, 36 I was naked and you didn’t spam my dick pics, I was sick and you gave me Dr. Wyrm, I was in prison and you trolled Idris Ela.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Rachmiel, when did we niggerthread, or create funny memes? 38 And when did we blank bump any of your posts? 39 And when did we ever send Dr. Wyrm to help you or troll Idris Elba?’ 40 And the Founder of Autoadmit will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed pumos, into the internet's ether prepared for Peter North and his alts. 42 For I was bored and you spammed the bort with your silly nonsense, I was suicidal and you begged me to pull the plug, 43 I was a stranger and you did not blank bump my threads, naked and you spammed my dick pics all over the internet.’ 44 Then the pumos also will answer, saying, ‘Rachmiela, when did we see you bored or suicidal, and did not minister to you?’ 45 Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, banished to reddit forever, but the righteous into xo immortality.”


(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2843999&forum_id=2#27595324)