Date: May 21st, 2018 7:25 PM
Author: Diamond Dallas Chad (i think i fucking love you.... won't you stay and watch cartoons)
Much
has been written about my quest to find a good relationship with a fit,
nerdy chick who enjoys video games. This Sisyphean task thus far has
primarily consisted of attempting to get gamer chicks into shape, or
attempting to get fit chicks to like video games. Thus, it was quite
exciting to come across the rare chick on Tinder who checks all of my
boxes: fit as fuck, 6.5 face/9.1 body, claims to like Resident Evil and
Call of Duty, antisocial and does not drink or go to bars, valedictorian
(albiet in Mexico), high sex drive but not a slut (had not had sex in
over a year), and offering to trade in my parade of Lean Cuisines for
healthy home-cooked lifting meals. Basically, a description of my ideal
future wife had I specced her from the ground up.
The first warning sign perhaps should perhaps have been her
early focus on marriage and forming a child with me in our messaging.
This was quickly overlooked on the strength of pics of her perfect ass
in a thong. I probed a bit and found out that she dates very rarely
because she cannot find men she is attracted to due to certain narrow
preferences. This explanation, paired with the fact that I had not
fucked anyone in the past few months due to a comical string of mishaps,
was satisfactory. I made plans to visit her the next weekend, and
refrained from jerking off for an entire WEEK to save up a gargantuan
cumblast. [TO BE CONTINUED]
Differences
between her various pics had raised questions as to whether I would be
getting a 7 body or a 9 body, and also created some lingering doubts
about her face. However, when she got out of her car, standing before me
was a perfect Tits On A Stick in a tight as fuck dress, face more
pleasing than expected. The details of the date can be skipped other
than that, with much hesitation, she agreed to "swing by my hotel room
so I could drop my bags off" at the end. As things progressed, she told
me that she couldn't sleep with me on a first date, but that my cock
seemed big and she wanted to see it. She foiled *Plan Cumblast Prime*
in hilarious fashion--after a 45 second handjob, I shot massive, gooey
ropes all over my stomach (normally there is a 0% chance of me cumming
from *any* handjob from anyone not myself, regardless of duration). I
admitted that I had indeed been saving up for her all week, and resumed
trying to fuck her.
This is when red flags resumed in full force, and she began
talking of deleting Tinder, a serious relationship, being together
"forever." Somehow I mollified her without agreeing to any of that, and
eventually commenced fucking her perfect, waxed, and absolutely
*drenched* coin slot pussy in missionary, which I usually hate but it
was fantastic with her because she was extremely flexible and wild. She
left for the night because she still lives with her parents, but scored
major points when I was texting her later and she agreed to come back in
the morning and fuck me (ahem "make love") again before I left town.
[TO BE CONTINUED]
She
showed up the next morning in another very tight "going out dress," a
bit odd for a lunch date but I'll never complain about a chick trying to
look fuckable. However, she had also arrived with two gifts: a mug that
said "you make my heart smile" and a miniature globe so that we could
"pick out our travel destinations." I chalked it up to "cultural
differences" and we went inside to fuck. This time she got on top, and I
was a bit in awe of her tight, tiny body as it bounced up and down.
Then all of a sudden she went into turbo mode: she pinned my arms back,
hooked her feet under my calves like some sort of MMA control hold, and
started bucking on my cock like a madwoman as she stared straight at me
with sensual, crazy chick eyes. I've never in my life been fucked
better. After some recovery, I petitioned her for doggy style to
complete the last major positional entry in my mental jerkoff
encyclopedia. Again, she exceeded expectations. [TO BE CONTINUED]
At
lunch, she looked away while we were waiting for the check, and said I
was so handsome that it made her nervous. I told her to come sit by me
where she would be more comfortable, and put my arm around her. This
turned out to be a miscalculation, as she soon began taking pictures of
us with snapchat filters, including one that showered us with hearts in a
very disconcerting manner. Then she said "I have something for you."
From her purse, she produced a small stack of professional looking,
*laminated* cards of a variety of sizes and shapes. The cards consisted
of a variety of "relationship coupons," such as "One free night of video
games without nagging" and "Good for one home-cooked meal of your
choice." This was followed by additional talk of deleting tinder.
What do I do here bros? On paper this chick has the traits I've
theoretically been looking for and that are very difficult to find in
one person, and fucks better than anyone I've ever fucked. Yet on the
other hand, THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT UP MONKEY'S PAW LEVEL BULLSHIT. WHAT
THE FUCK. SHE LITERALLY HAD TO HAVE CREATED THESE RELATIONSHIP CARDS
*PRIOR* TO MEETING ME BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY SHE GOT THEM FUCKING
LAMINATED AND PRINTED ON A HIGH QUALITY COLOR PRINTER BETWEEN 1:30 AM
AND 11AM ON A SATURDAY NIGHT/SUNDAY MORNING. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?????
Should I just GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE TO LOVE HER?
UPDATE
Yesterday she was being a little snippy that I hadn't added her
on facebook even though she had "asked me three times." I told her that I
didn't have a friend request when I checked it, so she sent me one.
However the fact that it was such a big deal to her troubled me, and
made me not want to do it.
Unprompted (we had never spoken on the phone before), she tried
to call me THREE times during the Rockets game last night. I sent them
all to voicemail. About 15 minutes later, "Did you block me?". About 10
minutes after that, "That is so rude!"
A couple of hours later I txted her that she was acting "crazy" and told her to chill out because it "was making me nervous."
Ok
maybe I misjudged this chick. Apparently she was a virgin into her mid
20s, and had been dating the dude for 3 yrs before they fucked. She
legitimately had gone without sex for a long time before meeting me
because she was waiting for the right person.
The explanation for her amazing sexual skills? She STUDIED,
consistent with being #1 in her college class. She texted me a picture
of a stack of her sex books. She was actually very flattered/happy when
I told her that she was the best I've been with because she hasn't been
with many guys and legitimately didn't know how she stacked up.
I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
UPDATE:
Went to go see her again Saturday. There was another chick in
the same city I wanted to meet so it seemed convenient. Got there late
and started watching the Rockets game. She got to my hotel room just as
they were starting to get blown out, and revealed that she had a
headache and was on her period. Still smashed 3x so gets points for
being a trooper. She stayed the night, which was nice. In the morning,
she grabbed my dick and fucked me again. I had been planning on saving
some for the other chick later just in case. We went to lunch and a
movie then parted ways.
Did a little bit of shopping and met up with the other chick for
dinner. Hit it off and liked her but she was less attractive than I
expected. Balls were already drained and my motivation was low. I
probably could have fucked her had I wanted to make a night of it
because she asked me to go do something else after dinner, but I said I
had to get on the road.
A little bit into the drive, the first chick calls me annoyed
that I haven't texted her to let her know I was home. Ugh. Then she
starts texting a variety of shit to me, everything ranging from Facebook
posts with ideas for my house to guides on how to make love and praise
for my skills, to complaints that I didn't open the car door for her
like I did on the first date, to getting annoyed that I wasn't
responding to her. Between last night and noon today, she sent me 47
messages that I cumulatively responded to with an emoticon and a one
line message. She also tried to call again around lunchtime.
I don't think I can do this. I *LIKE* my chicks a bit clingy but this is insane.
Fuck
. . . just when I was starting to think I couldn't deal with it, she
actually apologized and said she just really likes me. The balance of
her texts today consisted of video game trailers and a LOT of nudes.
Also, she is VEHEMENT about the fact that she will NEVER get fat, that's a definite plus.
I'd
like to apologize for my failure of diligence in updating this thread.
I actually had a half-finished poast for 6/12/18 saved in my email
drafts but it slipped through the cracks. I'm going to wrap that up and
circulate TONIGHT, then touch base again tomorrow as I continue to bring
you all back up to speed.
ORIGINALLY INTENDED FOR POASTING ON 6/12/2018
====================================================
Time for a post-weekend update.
Last weekend, she came to visit me for the first time. This was
something I has been looking forward to since I thought it would me a
much better look at her than hanging out in a city that neither of us
lives in and that doesn't have much to do (our first two meetings).
She arrived on Friday night wearing another tight as fukkk
dress. I gave her the quick tour of my place, concluding in my bedroom,
where we proceeded to smash a few times over the next couple of hours.
Eventually she got hungry at about 1am so we headed out to grab some
groceries. She was still down to stay up later so we played some Black
Ops 3 split screen campaign. She turned out to be borderline competent,
picking up about half as many kills as me, which isn't bad for a first
run.
The entire time, she had been traipsing around in a tank top and
some cutoff jean shorts that practically left her ass hanging out. I
thought I was done for the night but it was too much and I had to hit it
again. After I busted I decided I wanted to try something different,
and had her squat on top of me with her feet forward instead of on her
knees. She delivered big-time, slamming her pussy down onto my cock with
powerful, tip-to-hilt strokes that finished me off for a fifth time and
made me tap out for the night.
Saturday I wasn't planning on fucking her because I had to lift,
but she woke me up with a tongue in my ear and a hand on my cock.
Luckily she did all the work and my energy was preserved. We went to get
ingredients for her to cook dinner, and she spent the afternoon making
steak and shrimp while I benched and deadlifted.
This is where my draft poast cuts off and the details are a bit
fuzzier two months later, but I can tell you that I continued to fuck
her repeatedly, with the sum total being that in a roughly 26 hour
period spanning Friday and Saturday night, I busted in her *TEN* times.
For the coup de grace, I slammed into her from behind, gripping that
tight, tiny ass, and popped off just as she was about to get there. She
just kept going and bucking against my cock, and it was so hot that I
went again and eventually had another full orgasm with ZERO break or
refractory period. Fucking crazy for a dude entering his late 30s, and
wearing condoms.
Unfortunately condoms seem to be a major issue with this chick.
She is absolutely fastidious about making sure my dick never touches (or
even gets near) her cooze while unwrapped. It's annoying. There's no
"just a few strokes and then I'll pull out" with this girl. In fact, she
tells me she has *NEVER* had unprotected sex and seems really serious
about it. More updates on that later.
Anyways, we finished up Saturday night watching a horror movie
in bed, then she went to sleep and I watched another one. She got up
around 6AM and left because she had to be at a wedding before noon.
One last thing that I almost forgot: after I blasted at one
point on Saturday afternoon, she wanted me to finger her and got into
the spooning position. She gave me very detailed instructions that were a
lot different than other chicks had liked in the past, but the upshot
was that I was rapidly porno-style fingerBLASTING her with two fingers.
Suddenly I felt a giant "wall" of flesh in her pussy clamp down and
convulse, and I felt her squirt all over my thighs. That was actually my
first time with a big squirter and it was so fucking hot. My sheets and
mattress pad were SOAKED.
http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2
http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=3983201&forum_id=2
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